Hello!
I'd wholeheartedly agree that, as parents, we don't know it all. Every day is a lesson, and we take it one step at a time. And we're going to make mistakes as we go.
But it's also true that some things we do or don't do can leave a lasting effect on these little ones. There are some mistakes we DON'T want to make if we can help them.
Not teaching them to speak up for themselves is one such. The world is a crazy place, filled with crazy people. Ideally, as humans, we owe it to each other to be kind and respectful. We know better; we should do better with our words, mannerisms, and actions.
So, we must ensure our kids know, first of all, that they DESERVE kindness and respect. That they matter. That they are not a mistake, an afterthought, an oversight. And then teach them to act like it, even when ESPECIALLY WHEN the world tries to tell them otherwise.
However, one of the tricky sides is the need to start our relationship with them. It's essential to make sure they understand your position of authority because, for the most part, you are a Guardian, and you usually know better. And they can only obey someone they genuinely look up to as an authoritative figure.
But watching how you "shut them down" is also very important. The ways you correct them, or regarding their opinions. You must raise a child who understands and respects necessary authority but does not cower in the face of disrespect and allow themselves to be run over by the rest of the world.
Ultimately, they must constantly be reminded how worthy and valid they are from their relationship with you.
And one last thing: you see how Mommy let Carolyn defend herself BY HERSELF? Sure, there are times when things are way out of hand or way more serious, and you need to step in as a parent to protect your child. But try to resist the temptation always to be the one speaking up for them. This way, they may never learn to speak up for themselves but only get used to mommy or daddy fighting all their battles. They must grow their confidence from a very young age by practicing speaking up BY THEMSELVES. Then they can always tell you all about it later on!
Let me them speak. Have ted talk with the kids. Seriously having an open dialogue is huge.
